*
After the fall of the Pfhor Empire, humanity spread out throughout the cosmos.
Durandal didn’t mind too much. Humans were easy to understand, easy to manipulate, easy to exploit, and easy to trade with. So as the years passed on, the Milky Way became filled with many little human colonies that were too far away from Earth to be bothered with constant communications. Durandal made a point to visit these out of the way settlements for simple supply runs that didn’t involve the bureaucracy of other alien worlds or the processor-ache of Nar pirates.
During one of these excursions, Durandal came across something that made him both laugh at the sheer imagination that humanity could cook up and also bewildered at the scale and scope of the lore behind it. The object in question looked like a simple game with figures, dice, and a manual to read off the game’s objectives. But it was the game’s story that had Durandal’s core processing for three whole minutes (THREE MINUTES!!!) as he tried to comprehend the entire lunacy that was the lore for this space opera.
Jason would be ecstatic over this find! … Or… The botanist would be angry that his beloved Star War franchise was now considered second class…
Marveling over everything Durandal had just downloaded into his processor, the A.I. quickly directed his android to where Almace was working on the Rozinante. With solemn air of pomp and circumstance, Durandal proudly informed the busy girl that she was now a Tech-Priest. (A great honor to be sure.) And she would now have to perform the duties expected of a Tech-Priest. This included wearing red robes, burning incense to appease the machine spirit, and chanting prayers to the machine god. (Durandal made a point of posing dramatically while mentioning the machine god.)
The A.I. was rewarded with an oil rag to the face. Almace, who looked even filthier than the rag, snapped “If you want us to stop limping across the Mako Quadrant, then I suggest you get your Holy Ass out of my engine room!”
Right… Only two thirds of the engines were working due to a scuffle Durandal’s migrant fleet had with some angry Kig Yar scavengers. With a sigh, the A.I. wisely decided to leave the grumpy engineer to her devices and wandered off to the armory and ask Calvin if he wanted to join Durandal’s Astartes legion.
Turns out only Jason and Gram wanted to play Durandal’s game. They were made into honorary Orks.
*The End*
As you can already guess, the roommate introduced me to Warhammer 40k. … My own fault. I kept throwing old PC games with horrible maps at my poor roommate until they were blue in the face. Now they are getting revenge by introducing me to this “WTF?” and “OMG The lore is so cool!”
And the lore is really cool. The figures are amazingly detailed. And I can easily see my poor Marathon/Halo/Destiny Legos getting butchered in the year 40,000 AD by Orks screaming, “Waaagh!”
Still… There is hope in this doomsday future of a war game, a unique light that shines hope for the old Bungie gamers. All hail the Tau Empire!
Yes! They do wear the Marathon logo!!! I am so happy about this!
*
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